Its time to give this one-of-a-kind cookie its due!
Today, March 6, is the Birthday of America’s Favorite Cookie!
Over the course of my life, I have come to rely upon just a few things.
- A great mattress
- The expiration date on all products that are related to dairy
- The OREO cookie
Yes, as I ponder upon the long list of things that God didn’t have to give us, but in His goodness he allowed us to have, the OREO cookie tops my personal list. Yes, I would rather be going across the country without the benefit of a car or a plane that to live without OREOs.
Microeconomics, 1992
I was a business major at Carson-Newman University in the early 90’s. https://www.cn.edu/
I love everything about college and I learned a little along the way. In my microeconomics class I was first taught the concept of the theory or law of diminishing return. This law basically states that after some optimal volume of anything like production, exercise, etc… that the benefits begin to diminish.
As I sat there in class, going over this broad concept, my mind went to this one, basic truth:
FOR ME, the OREO cookie DEFIES the law of diminishing return. Totally defies it. When I eat OREOs (and this is not the case with any other food item in the world) – the 10th, 30th, 100th OREO is J U S T A S S A T I S F Y I N G as the very first one! I am not sure I comprehend it, but it is absolutely true. When we have a package of OREOs, I can easily eat the entire package in one day. A sleeve after each meal.
I have been an advocate for years
Many times I have gone out of my way to advocate for this delicious cookie, even once, in a fit of crazy thinking, started to apply for a job with Nabisco.
I am the one who always wants to bring OREOs to parties, and I am the one who demand that we use the brand name, not a knock-off.
Once, about 15 years ago, my dad was pastoring a small church in east Tennessee and they were holding their annual Vacation Bible School. My wife and I had dropped off a couple of our kids and I was just walking around. I wandered into the kitchen where church ladies were dutifully preparing for snacks to be served later that afternoon.
I saddled up to the counter, asked Ethel if she had any OREOs and she smiled real big and brought out from under the counter something from the locker room of the team who just lost the Super Bowl.
I couldn’t believe my eyes! She handed me HYDROX cookies and had the AUDACITY to say “these are just as good and they are 87 cents cheaper!”
I hope I didn’t do too much damage in the aftermath, but I used my incredible influence with my dad to have Ethel fired!
This atrocity was unforgivable.
Life is Disappointing
On another occasion, my wife and I had been to a party and exactly 5 OREOs were left over. I put them in a ziplock bag and took them home. Upon arriving home, my 5-year-old son ran up to me and asked if he could have one.
I said, “no”. His lips began to quiver and I simply said to him, “Son, life is full of disappointments, its never too early to begin learning.”
And I sat there, with my glass of milk and enjoyed every one of them, guilt-free.
Nabisco and I haven’t always agreed
I believe in the purity of the OREO.
Chocolate cookie
white cream
Any combination of those qualities is FINE, although the MEGA STUF is just too much cream. Although, admittedly, it does fit within my definition of OREO.
Here is my problem with what NABISCO is doing. They have the BEST COOKIE EVER MADE.
Why dilute the brand?!?
They have made every conceivable flavor combination available and they call THEM ALL AN OREO!
Chocolate Cookie + white cream = perfection
Why call a red cookie with blue cream and OREO, too???
What about the spring mix, the red velvet, the Lady GAGA, the peanut butter and the worst of the them all, the golden OREO!!
If you close your eyes and I say “think of an OREO, you will imagine a chocolate cookie with white cream.
Why is NABISCO trying to make ALL COOKIES, regardless of color, flavor or thickness and OREO.
They are simply diluting the brand that has been built up for over 100 years. Its embarrassing for them, really.
They could have introduced all those flavors and say something like “OREO is proud to introduce to the world his beautiful cousin the peanut butter sandwich cookie!”
Instead, by calling everything an OREO they are, in effect, calling nothing and OREO.
(THIS IS A TRUE STORY) I wrote a hand-written letter in 2006 to NABISCO expressing my concern. The letter didn’t get a reply.
I have come to accept NABISCO’s faults
regardless of our differences, I still support NABISCO and the OREO franchise as I just can’t get away from the goodness, no matter how mad it makes me. I am even proud to say that I am a member of an OREO cookie obsession Facebook group – (also a true story).
So, on its 111th birthday, or on your birthday, or on flag day or on any occasion for any reason, enjoy the greatest cookie ever made!
