In central Alabama, there are 4 distinct weather seasons. 1 month of winter, 2 weeks each of fall and spring and 10 months of summer. Hot, humid, stagnant summer. So, if you do anything outside, just be prepared to get sweaty and sticky.
We lived in Alabama for just a few years, from 2006-2009. But those years were incredibly formative for our children, especially our boys. It was the summer of 2008 that it was time for the boys to learn how to ride a bike without the aid of training wheels.
My fitness level was suspect
We lived in an old, well-established neighborhood with big lots, matures trees and long, rolling hills. Our house was at the bottom of a bowl, so to speak, where two hills on either side of our house emptied right at our driveway. So, from the driveway, either direction was “up”.
You know when you first try to teach your kids to ride their bikes you run along side them for a while. It would be safe to say that my cardio capacity was not up to par with the need to repeat the same 20-yard run in 666 degree heat.
It took longer than it should to get the boys comfortable, and Levi chose to teach himself, a story for another day. With both boys now mostly competent bike riders, after the 2 hottest weeks on record and blisters on my feet, I retired to the house having accomplished another great parenting milestone.
Always say yes to an invitation from your kids
One thing I have learned, almost too late as a parent is that your kids will not always want you right beside them. They do, as they are supposed to, begin to free themselves from our wonderful little nest. This, too, is a story for another time.
But on this day, and for several days leading up to this, my boys would meet me at my car when I would pull in from work and beg me “DAD! WILL YOU GO ON A BIKE RIDE WITH ME?!” Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!
So, on this day, maybe a month after their final bike riding lesson, I went out deep into our big neighborhood to ride with my boys.
THERE WERE SO MANY POTHOLES!!
We left the driveway and ventured deep into our sprawling subdivision. We topped another hill with a huge drop coming up. Just as I was about to give my fatherly wisdom and give them some pointers, Levi yelled out “WATCH THIS, DAD!”
My mind still can’t believe what my eyes saw
He immediately put his FEET on the handlebars, hands in the air and started coasting down the hill fearlessly and I saw one pothole after another all the way down that hill. My protective instincts welled up as I saw DANGER after DANGER right before him. I wanted to warn him of the impending doom. I was terrified and he was showing off!
As our minds do when we are in a situation like this, thoughts flooded my mind at warp speed and just before I yelled at him to stop and put his feet down, 2 things occurred to me.
1 – He had obviously done this several times before today
2 – If I startled him he would most certainly lose control and wreck
So, I watched in terror as he effortlessly and easily navigated all those potholes and uneven pavement driving with his little feet.
The 10 seconds it took to get to the bottom were long and scary, and by the time he safely put his feet back on the pedals and his little, chubby hands on the handlebars, the Holy Spirit had spoken to my heart.
Lee, you are not capable of keeping them safe
When we have kids, we take responsibility for their care. Sometimes we take it so far as to attempt (a futile attempt, I might add) to have them avoid all displeasure, all failure and all pain. This is a parental mistake. Unless, of course, you plan to continue to protect them at that level well into adulthood and you plan to outlive them. Otherwise, we must allow our kids to fail. We must allow them to fall. And the very sobering truth is this: No matter how hard we try, we simply cannot account for every variation of circumstance and situation and therefore we must trust that the God of the universe knows more than we do and will do a much better job at protecting them than we can.
11 years later…
The lesson of having to trust God rather than my own abilities is a lesson I have had to learn over and over again. Obviously, as a parent, you don’t hand your child a knife and put them in the floor next to a power outlet and just say “I guess they have to learn sometime.” No, no no. We do have responsibilities, but we can’t just sit and worry and worry and worry. There are just some things out of our control and we have to let go.
“Dad, I’ve been in a terrible accident, they are about to put me in the ambulance”
Fear. Disbelief. Nausea. Anxiousness. Helplessness.
He rolled his car 2-3 times on the interstate. Shattered windshield. Crushed. But in the end, he had mud in his ear and a small cut on his left hand. There is nothing we could have done. All you can do is kiss him, mud and all, and walk out, looking heavenward and acknowledge God, who had His protective hands around our son.
