Fear is crippling.
My very earliest memories of school, one of the very first lessons I EVER learned in the public school system was “don’t write on your schoolmate’s books”. That is another story. Getting a paddling on the first day of 1st grade is pretty bad. I had it coming.
The film projector was rocket science to me
In my first few years of public school, from 1976-1979 I attended Louisville Elementary School in Louisville, TN. It was as rural and country as anyone could imagine. But coming from a home with little or no conveniences, sitting in the school library watching a film projector, as rudimentary as it was, was a marvelous treat.
As we would gather and sit in our little rows, the school librarian, Mrs. Waters, would get us all quiet and introduce the film. Mrs. Waters was ancient. She had to have been born in the 1800s, I would surmise, simply because her quivering “old lady” voice, her gaudy, 6-inch wide lace neckline and her graying hair.
Looking back, she was probably in her early 40’s, but how I would I know that?!
Anyway, as was her custom, she would arranged us in a position that was least likely to cause more work for her later, and sit us down in front of an old screen that would be the display for this awesome projection.
She would turn off the lights and push “play” on a cassette player that would start the movie. A still image would appear on the screen and the narrator would tell the story, read the pages of the book or whatever, and then a loud “BEEP” would sound on the cassette alerting Miss Waters to flip the film to the next still image.
It was cinematic magic! I loved it and it was the only time I sat still THE ENTIRE DAY.
Literally, the 15-minutes that would change my outlook on life
One day, during one of our sitting-on-the-rug-in-the-library sessions, Miss Waters showed the film that I have come to find out MUCH later in life was part of Aesop’s Fables, and it was titled A Contest Between The Sun and The Wind.
In this film, the sun and the wind make a bet, so to speak, about which one of them is more powerful. In order to prove it, they choose an innocent passerby who is wearing a long, heavy, winter coat.
The wind tries first to get the coat off the man walking down the street. But a funny thing happens, the harder the wind blew, and the gustier he made it, the man HELD ON TIGHTER.
I remember distinctly seeing the man’s white knuckles holding fiercely onto his coat. It is an image stamped into my brain.
Eventually, the wind gave up.
The Sun can be a metaphor for so many things in life
As I looked and listened, the “sun”, the hero, the wise protagonist, simply came out from behind the clouds and made everyone warm, the man, other walkers, the birds in the trees, yes, everyone benefitted from his warmth.
Another funny thing happened.
He removed his coat of his own free will.
Life-changing lesson
Admittedly, I didn’t go around my elementary school touting the benefits of “Being the Sun”. It was years before that lesson came rushing back to me – but it did.
I have used this in business dealings, certainly in the ups and downs of parenting and even in every day life. It sounds incredibly similar to a passage from the old testament book of Proverbs.
PARENTS
Be carefully how “windy” you are. We feel like we have the right as parents to blow our opinions around, steamroll our thoughts and force our kids into some type of acceptable behavior. But let me say from experience, the “WIND” approach might get temporary results, but they are not permanent and therefore NOT what parents are looking for.
WIND = FEAR
When we use the “wind” approach, we are trying to instill fear. Let me ask, as adults, when an authority figure, a boss or someone else who has some kind authority, threatens you, are YOU motivated to change your heart, or just do the minimum to get that person to stop being so obnoxious?
LEADERS
If you lead anyone, have any authority AT ALL in any situation, start trying to conduct yourself like the Sun. You will be startled, amazed and pleased – after a while – of the heart-change of those who report to you.
You will find they are willing to work harder, stay later and go the extra mile just because of the way you treat them.
I have reminders throughout my life, on my desk, on bookshelves and as reminders set on my phone, to “BE THE SUN”.
SUN = OPPORTUNITY
SUN = ENERGY
SUN = COMPASSION
SON = LOVE
The “SUN” can mean anything positive and it ALWAYs means the opposite of FEAR. Don’t instill fear. Teach others that you are FOR them, you are ON THEIR TEAM.
One final point
In all of life, the wind is no match for the sun.
